I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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