he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
