you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
