i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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