Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
