I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
