The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
