Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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