i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
