wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
