her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
my phone needs a breathalizer
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
This is my gift to your gina
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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