Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
