What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
