Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
