Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
