Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
