yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She tied me up with her honor cords...
she peed on how many people?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Randomize
