watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
