Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
