so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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