did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
