and i looked up. we had an audience...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize