he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
