i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
