wanna go halves on a baby?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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