did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
