Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
