whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
