I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
