Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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