Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
