i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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