i'm lost and i look like a hooker
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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