It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
