That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Randomize
