Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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