walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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