Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
