A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
