My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
