maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize