Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
