Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
