Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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