Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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