This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
