remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
