i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
My breasts were aching with rage.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
