You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
