im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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