WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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