What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
