how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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