2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
