how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Two words: blizzard sex
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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