I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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