dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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