so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
