it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
