Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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