I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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